The good notes - Prelude. Just 'cuz it stayed in my drafts, and I wouldn't delete it.

It was too late for the much needed tub of ice cream. So I did the next best thing. I sat down to watch The Holiday. For the umpteenth time!

Opening score. Winslet's monologue. The fairytale cottage. The melodrama. The wit. The mush.
It works. Every time.

"Don't blow away."
I repeated.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you twice... and then linger a long time on the second kiss."
I blushed.

Definitely got me into true blue sweep-me-off-reality spirits!

Then came the scene at the video shop.
"Okay. Driving Miss Daisy. Hans. Very unexpected. Do you remember how great it was?"  [Jack Black does an impression of soundtrack]

And I thought, "Right away!"

It was love at first hear.
Sassy, sassy, sassy!

It wouldn't be quite untrue if I said I could watch the movie again, only for it's soundtrack. And, I've been hooked on for a while now.

The good notes. : http://ramansneha.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-good-notes.html

The good notes.

Sassy!

(Video courtesy, youtube.com)

Gumption.

(Video courtesy, youtube.com)

Truly an extraordinary expression for these beautiful words! If life had background scores, I know what's to play in mine.

'I am not a concept.'

The movie was mediocre. The underlying concept- of an artist's view of his world and his muse in 'A Frozen Second', both the idea of freezing time at your will and unravelling a person's being in that frozen second - was intriguing. Was it a violation of their privacy?, the protagonist wondered, and I did too. Unlike when you sit down for a portrait, your physical and emotional being at that moment being a deliberated attempt at what you choose to freeze in time, the frozen second catches you in an unguarded and a possibly private moment.

The relationship between an artist and the muse has always fascinated me. For the artist to seek meaning and beauty in something with its own temperament, one that may be complimenting or contrasting to the artist's own, yet continually inspiring and challenging; and for the muse to let another perceive the reflections of one's unguarded thoughts and vulnerabilities, and allow it form - I believe there is immense trust (and often a shared passion) in such a synergy. How does one find it, or grow it, I have wondered many times.

I reckon it is in many ways similar to love. Unless you are willing to give a part of you, you do not find the other part.

"I am not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours." 
- Clementine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

That is oftentimes my state of mind. And, I think I am my own concept.

But every once in a while, may be you do want someone to see you. Whether you choose to create the painting or be the painting, you want to put a part of yourself out in the world.

"I wanted to be the muse, I wanted to be the wife of the artist, but I was really trying to avoid the final issue- that I had to do the job myself.” 
- Anaïs Nin

Melancholic.

The reading had left me so about a decade back; the movie did much the same. To a degree where when my four-year-old nephew declared, 'I feel sad, for the boy', instead of trying to convince the preschooler of 'the happy ending', I told him it was alright. It was alright to feel sad.

And then I slipped back into my own thoughts, about closure. And, about communication. Wondering about words that should have been said, but never were. How it is sometimes the hardest to articulate the most basic emotions. To say, I wish you well. Or, good bye. So you shrug it off, or, simply disappear.

'What a terrible thing it is to botch the farewell. I am a person who believes in form, in the harmony of order. Where we can, we must give things meaningful shape. It is important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse. That bungled good bye hurts me to this day.' (Life of Pi)

'I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, Gumption.'

It was a weekday morning crowd at PVR Saket - socialites (assuredly, caked out), a gang or two of f.r.i.e.n.d.s., corner seat couples, and scattered loners. I am not to be confused as being a part of this frame. I am mostly capable of being invisible to the world, while playing the lead in the fantasy of my own making. I had made a solitary trip that wintry morning to watch The Holiday. Donning my then favourite pair of brown laced boots and the green and purple flannel scarf passed down by my sister, I had set out, secretly revelling in the fact that in the parallel world, no one would notice my absence from school. (I did mention that I was capable of being invisible, didn't I?)

It proved to be exactly the kind of two hours I had sought. Light, witty and uncannily relatable. And it continues to be my go-to movie to destress, to chuckle, and to hear Winslet say 'Gumption' in that most endearing English tone! 

(Nonchalantly gets up with a li'l head tilt, a shrug, a wink and starts to tap dance!)